duminică, 8 decembrie 2013

Medicina generala sau viata ca o prada

"Mais Madalina, ca c'est comme un monument! Ca se visite!"

Era vorba despre o pacienta de 115 ani!!!

The truth is that I am lost! Completely lost! After 9 years I thought that I will finally get to do what I always dreamed to do : Addictology, but in the end things aren't working on exactly as I planned. But I have hope. Because I know that things happen for a reason and I know that someday the pieces of the puzzle will fall down in their right places. Because people aren't able to imagine what a war Med School is, it's impossible for a non-doctor to know. We are suffering a psychological torture during many years. We learn to run before we walk! You have to be though, you have to sometimes walk on bodies in order to get what is yours. For instance nobody imagines how we are treated like a sub-human-race during a lot of our surgical or medical stages. You don't have a name, you're "it", "number zero". You don't sleep, you eat when you can and what you can, you do sometimes everything except medicine. And it's hard as hell to hear from the one who should be your teachers, your role-models : "You're stupid/useless/a disgrace for the medical world, you'll never be a good Dr. In fact, you'll never be a Dr. 'cause you'll never pass my exam!". It happened to my mates, it happened to all of us; medical students. And not just once. Many people will trough in your face the classical phrase : "Don't complain, it's you who have decided to choose this path!". True, but no one can prepare you for what follows. And the internship it's long and we are still underrated, we are not looked as physicians/doctors, we're just "the real doctors mignons". We are trained to work as slaves, fetch food and coffee, and if possible think but always present your idea as your bosses idea. Gratifying isn't it? You learned 6 years to be the "doctors pet". Life in plastic is fantastic. And don't get me start of some patients! (just some, luckily not lots of them). It goes something like THIS.

So you learn what and how you can. And try to get the best out of it!

After 9 years I still don't know what I'll do, exactly. I know what I want to do but I am still not sure how I will get it. And a very old dream rises again : Medicina fara frontiere!


But one thing is cristal clear : what lucky were we to grow up with this amazing music. When rock was still rock! And music was not shit and not porn! Take everything from the inside and trough it all away, 'cause I swear for the last time, I won't trust myself again with you. I WON'T WASTE MYSELF ON YOU!
Anger is good sometimes, it can clear your mind and your guts. And babies, drooling and laughing babies, this also helps, they can take you to a happier place. And dogs, dogs always work!

I know the album "Hybrid theory" by heart, the best LP album.
I also know "Korn", "Life is peachy" and "Follow the leader" by Korn, by heart. That was music.

And it appears clear to me now that I was never born to do medecine for the rich and ungrateful. I have a mission to help the weak ones. You know that I know that I am no Messia but I will do my best to help the one in need. 'cause I know that a friend in need is a friend in deed. Once I took the HIPPOCRATE OATH and I do not intend to break it. Not for you my rich, fat, ungrateful piece of garbage. Although in the end your ignorance is bliss. People are dying of starvation and you complain that you have to pay 2 euros for a fucking pommade??? When you never worked your entire life, you were just "pretty" besides you're successful husband? As I said ignorance is bliss but I will not be part of your game! And you loose a very good doctor, just so you know!

So humanitarian medicine and addictology here I come!!!

In Martinica cu o doamna comercianta localnica. May the colors be back!!!

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