marți, 8 iulie 2014

prison break 1

It's all about love, about not judging, about being equal to yourself and to others.
It's all about anger, despair, (broken) trust, scattered dreams, broken families, lonely people.
It's all about rude people, punks, immigrants, outsiders, dreamers, pranksters, firestarters.
It's all about getting out of your comfort zone, about trust, about giving another chance when everyone turned their backs.
It's about learning how to get attached every fucking time, about giving a penny, about (maybe) saving a life.

I am a doctor and I use words like "fuck", "shit", "awesome", "dick head" and other very non catholic/orthodox (depends where you're standing) expressions every day.
I am a "prison doctor". I have fun every day with my guards, with my patients, with my colegues because we love our job.
I am who I choose to be day by day.
My favorite joke is answering to the question : "Where are you, Mada?" "I'm just getting out of jail".
I like to party, I love my job but above all I love my patients. I would do whatever it takes to help them. I am not delusional, I am not Jesus, they cannot be saved but they can be helped. And they need help.

Most of the people don't get it. Why did I choose to work there with the "scumbags" of our society?
Well, for several reasons, one of them would be that I don't think that I am better than they are?
Are you better than them? No, I don't think so. You cheat, you lie, you're greedy, you're arrogant, you're working for money, you're lazy, you're a little bitch in your everyday life, you're racist, you're envious. No one is perfect!
What would you do in their situation? Maybe the same! 
Do you know how it's like to lose everything? You don't! They do!

All this talk about equality, the only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die!". (Bob Dylan)

So I come as I am in front of them. They try to impress, to seduce, to make me scared ... in the end they are trying to get some emotions from me. 
Now is it good to show emotions to your patients? Maybe, maybe not. 

Addiction is a disease. Addiction is bad and rotten and vicious and...almost impossible to get ride of. It's normal to reject it if you don't try to understand it. 

"Doctor, you will not leave like the other doctors right, after 1 year!" 
"Well, I still have a long road ahead of me, I don't know if this is my final destination :)"
"At least you're honest."

It's impossible to explain the joy of every morning when I have to go to my work = prison is my happy place.
I also work in a private practice. It's not the same. I am stiff, I wear my smile and my pretty clothes, I am polite and professional with my Colgate smile. The difference is that in prison break I am free to express myself! At the practice my patient is my client = master. And I hate it, ooooh how I hate it!
It's like having a split personality : switching again and again and again.

It's my choice. It might not be the good one. I could be wrong, I could be right but I stepped out of my comfort zone a long time ago and I became happy.

I think is important to speak about it because it concerns all of us. Putting people in prison is not a solution. It just makes things worse (imagine a person "without person" and a criminal/rapist/drug dealer in the same cell for some months). Look at the "savages" living on their islands/in their forests : justice for all without extreme measures or with measures socially accepted by all the members of their community. And then look at us : "Uuuu, criminal, he was in jail!". Yes, he was because he has stolen food from the supermarket. How much our politicians are "taking" day by day? 
So, yes, I choose my patients. I'll be there when they wanna go!
You don't know their stories so stop judging and GET HUMAN!

I try to understand my patients trough music :) So I will leave you with my top 11 tracks :

1) Ozzy, junkie 

2) RHCP, Don't forget me         "... I'm the rainbow in your jail cell..."

3) Gogol Bordello, Alcohol

4) Eric Clapton, Cocaine

5) Pink Floyd, Have a cigar 

6) The velvet underground, Heroine

7) Black Sabbath, Sweet Leaf

8) Guns n' roses, Mr Brownstone

9) The rolling stones, Sister Morphine

10) John Lennon, Cold turkey 

11) Cypress Hill, Hits from the bong


Pictures taken this year in Berlin, in March! I fucking love this city! Freedom of speech!

duminică, 6 iulie 2014

le hasard

1. 21 years old, female, south africa, 2nd time in prison break.
    "Dr. I have to ask you something :)!"
    " Yes :) ?"
    "Do you know God?"
    "Well I didn't meet him yet but I heared about him."
    "Do you have a religious belief?"
    "Uhm, I am ortodox but I ... I don't know, I believe in a higher force."
    "But do you go to church?"
    "... not really"
    "I am an evanghelist and I have a gift, I have to tell you something...I have to spread the word."
    "Ok, you can tell me."
    "God have spoken to me, the world will end."
    " :) of course, it's also written in the bible :)"
    "Yes, but it will end soon and I have this gift, I have to spread the word."
    "Aren't you afraid that people will believe you're crazy?! if you say you talk to God?"
    "No, I have a mission."
    "Yes, we all do miss, but you seem to have a difficult task to complete."

She was standing in front of me, beautiful, smart, free, a true believer. I envied her for one moment. It seems difficult to envy someone who's in jail right? But the thing is that she is ... free. :) And, no, I don't think she's crazy.

2.  45 years old male, north africa, 45th time in prison break.
     "Hello Dr. ca va?" ( I always find very funny this question)
     "Yes, ca va and you?"
     "Well, great, I'm going out in 2 months! :)"
     "That's great news!! :) Do you have plans for outside?"
     "Yes, go outside and get a job and then get my family back!"
     "Hm, you know that it won't be easy."
     "Yes, it will, because with your help Dr. I will stop smoking weed, I used to smoke 15 joints/day, now I'm at 3/day but I cannot stop by myself and it ruins my life (starts to cry)."
      "Well I will ask you some question, you will be honest, and we will succeed!"

It turned out that he had a social phobia and a paranoia and that weed was his auto-medication.
I've started a treatment and I'm confident.
Where there's a will there's a way. And he wants to quit, and I'm there to support him.

:) I love my job! So many interesting people every day!

sâmbătă, 5 iulie 2014


Luxembourg is warm, happy, beautiful, coloured and chilled. I really, really loved it. People are smiling, are helping and they seem to be very happy.
Luxembourg is a state of mind, it's a statement. A statement that hard work, good manners and smiles can work. 
Luxembourg is peace. Street singers. Art. Cosy restaurants.
Luxembourg is coloured umbrellas and an awesome happy friend. Luxembourg is a smile!
They don't know how to fix a  strawberry Mojito but they sure have some fine chocolate (hot chocolate + brownie @ "Chocolate house" just in front of the Palace = heaven).

It was a perfect mini holidays, laughing 'till the end :)
I mean you loose some and you get some in exchange. The boy I liked ... it just didn't happen but on my way back to Strasbourg I met a lovely 58 years old jewish lady with Parkinson disease. The essential is not this, the essential is that this woman has a gift and despite her disease she has been blessed by life with 2 wonderful kids and lots of travels. One researcher and one midwife. The researcher is living in Japan, he's married with a Japanese lady and they have a 5 years old son. The great great mother of the Lady is alive and kicking it. I'm going to Japan next year with a friend. The husband of the midwife is a cardiologist with whom I work a lot but whom I've never met in flash and bones. The midwife is pregnant and I am invited to the circumcision ceremony of her son. Shalom I say and mazeltov! 

She said that there are no hazardous encounters in life and I believe she's write so Mazeltov!

On the other side they don't really have hippies/alternative people or maybe they were very well hidden...they were kind of stiff.

This is Luxembourgs song and Luxembourgs photos :

I really, really liked their idea with the colored umbrellas. Apparently there is the same in Portugal so I'll go see by myself with my friends. So, next trip : Portugal! Oleeeeeeeee!