prison break 1

It's all about love, about not judging, about being equal to yourself and to others.

It's all about anger, despair, (broken) trust, scattered dreams, broken families, lonely people.

It's all about rude people, punks, immigrants, outsiders, dreamers, pranksters, firestarters.

It's all about getting out of your comfort zone, about trust, about giving another chance when everyone turned their backs.

It's about learning how to get attached every fucking time, about giving a penny, about (maybe) saving a life.

I am a doctor and I use words like "fuck", "shit", "awesome", "dick head" and other very non catholic/orthodox (depends where you're standing) expressions every day.

I am a "prison doctor". I have fun every day with my guards, with my patients, with my colegues because we love our job.

I am who I choose to be day by day.

My favorite joke is answering to the question : "Where are you, Mada?" "I'm just getting out of jail".

I like to party, I love my job but above all I love my patients. I would do whatever it takes to help them. I am not delusional, I am not Jesus, they cannot be saved but they can be helped. And they need help.

Most of the people don't get it. Why did I choose to work there with the "scumbags" of our society?

Well, for several reasons, one of them would be that I don't think that I am better than they are?

Are you better than them? No, I don't think so. You cheat, you lie, you're greedy, you're arrogant, you're working for money, you're lazy, you're a little bitch in your everyday life, you're racist, you're envious. No one is perfect!

What would you do in their situation? Maybe the same! 

Do you know how it's like to lose everything? You don't! They do!

" All this talk about equality, the only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die!". (Bob Dylan)

So I come as I am in front of them. They try to impress, to seduce, to make me scared ... in the end they are trying to get some emotions from me. 

Now is it good to show emotions to your patients? Maybe, maybe not. 

Addiction is a disease. Addiction is bad and rotten and vicious and...almost impossible to get ride of. It's normal to reject it if you don't try to understand it. 

"Doctor, you will not leave like the other doctors right, after 1 year!" 

"Well, I still have a long road ahead of me, I don't know if this is my final destination :)"

"At least you're honest."

"Always."

It's impossible to explain the joy of every morning when I have to go to my work = prison is my happy place.

I also work in a private practice. It's not the same. I am stiff, I wear my smile and my pretty clothes, I am polite and professional with my Colgate smile. The difference is that in prison break I am free to express myself! At the practice my patient is my client = master. And I hate it, ooooh how I hate it!

It's like having a split personality : switching again and again and again.

It's my choice. It might not be the good one. I could be wrong, I could be right but I stepped out of my comfort zone a long time ago and I became happy.

I think is important to speak about it because it concerns all of us. Putting people in prison is not a solution. It just makes things worse (imagine a person "without person" and a criminal/rapist/drug dealer in the same cell for some months). Look at the "savages" living on their islands/in their forests : justice for all without extreme measures or with measures socially accepted by all the members of their community. And then look at us : "Uuuu, criminal, he was in jail!". Yes, he was because he has stolen food from the supermarket. How much our politicians are "taking" day by day? 

So, yes, I choose my patients. I'll be there when they wanna go!

You don't know their stories so stop judging and GET HUMAN!

I try to understand my patients trough music :) So I will leave you with my top 11 tracks :

1) Ozzy, junkie 

2) RHCP, Don't forget me         "... I'm the rainbow in your jail cell..."

3) Gogol Bordello, Alcohol

4) Eric Clapton, Cocaine

5) Pink Floyd, Have a cigar 

6) The velvet underground, Heroine

7) Black Sabbath, Sweet Leaf

8) Guns n' roses, Mr Brownstone

9) The rolling stones, Sister Morphine

10) John Lennon, Cold turkey 

11) Cypress Hill, Hits from the bong

*

Pictures taken this year in Berlin, in March! I fucking love this city! Freedom of speech!

happy

I just love this song. It's difficult not to share a smile when you're listening to it. If I am at home I instantly start dancing. It comes naturally. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth.

Face asteptarea mai dulce. Pentru ca uneori asteptarea este...lunga. So I just go in my world of fantasies...
Curios cum o seara poate schimba totul. O intalnire cu un irakian muzician, cu vreo 40 de ani mai in varsta decat mine dar cu un suflet de copil! Om frumos si vesel, cu maini magice. Om colorat, om daruit. O m care daruieste si imparte fara regrete. Om care traieste ca si cum maine nu exista. Om care traieste numai si numai in prezent. Cate putem sa invatam de la cei din jurul nostru, este minunat!

Ne facem rau cand criticam. I thought that you were nice but  you were otherwise...

Ne facem rau cand ne agatam de lucruri materiale, cand ne agatam de oameni. Daca cineva decide sa iasa din viata ta inseamna ca nu a trebuit sa fie acolo de la bun inceput. Daca ai invatat ceva din pasajul lui/ei esti norocos. Daca ai reusit sa faci sa tresara ceva in inima celuilalt chiar si pentru cateva minute/zile...e bine; esti bine.

Ochii care nu se vad se uita, din fericire, uneori. Noroc ca Dumnezeu a lasat uitarea pe acest Pamant.
Oare este adevarat ca vezi in jurul tau ceea ce vrei sa vezi? Ca ceea ce esti tu in interior se reflecta in jurul tau? Pentru ca atunci e bine...vad oameni fericiti si dornici sa invete, sa se dezvolte, vad copii in corpuri de adult, vad soare, cer albastru, copaci infloriti, piete de duminica, biciclete...cam asa.

El a fost in Franta dar eu eram la Berlin. Ne-am ratat la cateva zile distanta. Nu a fost sa fie nici de data asta. Dar e OK. Suntem OK after all this years we both healed. And we both grow up in the persons that we've wanted to be, and strangely we did not grow apart. I wish you luck, sun, smiles and love sailor!










Deci e Primavara :)





Meanwhile in Berlin :

berlin

I love Berlin because it reminds me of how easy and pleasant life's actually and about how we are complicating it!

Before going to Berlin I was not in a very happy place : work, friends...people...I was feeling kind of confused and lost in translation. I was in such a hurry all the time, I didn't have patience anymore, I wanted answers and I was getting kind of radical which is sort of not me. And the worst part is that I've almost stop dreaming my life away.

So I kind of spontaneously decided to go there. Berlin wasn't even on my wishlist of cities that I wanted to visit. But I had a friend there and I was kind of curious so...there I went.

First of all Berlin is relaxed : smiling people everywhere with a beer in their hand, chatting outside in the sun, with their dogs (with no leash!) just sharing some smiles, exchange some ideas.

Second : every person that I've been in contact with spoke perfect english!

Fear cand hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.

So I kind of new that even if I get lost (which was often the case :) I will akways find someone to help me.

Big monuments, large avenues, good food and drinks and partyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It's amazing how on the same street you can have a russian, a thai, an italian and a pakistani restaurant. You get to see a metal bar next to a latino club and it's all cool.

Also everybody is smoking in bars and clubs. Which bothered me at the begining but reminded me of Cluj. So it was cool. I danced and laughed and shared coffee and food with people met randomly on the street. People tried to sell me weed  and I even got mistaken for a prostitute (because I was wearing high heels) which is kind of funny (years for now I will laugh with L. : hey do you remember that time when I came to visit you in Berlin and I was mistaken for a prostitute? Yes, it was funny!). People where simple, dressed in black and not dressed to impress, happy, with lots of tattoes, mohawks, funky, funny, colored, of all types, spanish, italians, turkish...

Someone told me that in Berlin are more architects than cab drivers. 

No one screams, no one runs, no one is rude. At least the people that I've met.

They say that you see what you want to see. That what you see is a reflection of you. I've chosen to see the beautiful in Berlin, the alternative, the good coffee and the smiling people. Peace. Because the rest is not important.

I got scare tissue in Berlin. I got better. It will always be my happiness reminder with his squats, his music, the people. It's true that a friend in need is a friend indeed but a funny sarcastic friend with a big heart, beer and a lovely top flor apartment is better.

I mean it's simple : viata e frumoasa si nimic nu merita regrete. So just do what you feel like doing and don't regret it. Regrets just complicate life and don't solve anything. Don't look back in anger. Live in the moment because you never know if you'll still be there for the next moment. And dream, dream big so you can achieve big things. 

Don't waste your time on people who don't deserve you. People that bring out the best of you are the only valid option.

I am always saying that there is nothing that the road can't heal. I truly believe this. One voyage as often as possible keeps the doctor away...and the sun in your life. We are what we give to other people. I've chosen to give love. So if you give me nothing, nothing is what you get. 

W A L K I N G    A R O U N D in Berlin parks, museums, bars  I found my lost equilibre. And it felt good, natural, it felt like home. Oh, and they also have huge Flea Markets! When Didi left for the rainbow community I didn't get it. It took me a while. But she was happy so it was ok. Now we're all just fine : in africa, europe or australia united we stand! We are bulletproof now :)

will

" where there's a will there's a way, you can get it
   the old daily grind drags you down, if you let it!"



stay curious!

enjoy the ride!

smile forever and a day!

like a stone

cantecul asta spune totul.

"... I'll wait for you there like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone...

And on I read until the day was gone;
And I sat in regret of all the things I've done;
For all that I've blessed, and all that I've wronged,
In dreams until my death I will wonder on.

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there alone...like a stone...."





Berlin here I come! Please, help me forget!