a view from Barcelonas windows

" Barcelona here we come...one more week...yeyyyyyy!"

Asta se intampla acum vreun an jumate. Cand inca eram cu el.
Eram nerabdatoare, entuziasta, encore un voyage! Allons y les enfants!
Si Barcelona e fantezista, aventuroasa, misterioasa ca o dama in rochii haute couture. Are culori halucinante, parcuri magice si catedrale majestuoase. Am iubit Sagrada Familia : atat de salbatica, de libera, de fara griji, de ... ma doare la basca! Apoi casa Battlo, the bones house it just felt like pure magic. So majestic! I remember walking on that hot roof, imagining battles with dragons and glorious sunrises. Hard rock café, plaja, strazile aglomerate si Rambla. Mimul.
Daca aveti ocazia sa vizitati Barcelona, nu ezitati. Este un oras viu, minunat. It's not my cup of tea but this doesn't make it less wonderful.

Dar Barcelona este si extraordinar de fierbinte, in sensul rau al cuvantului, foarte aglomerata, scumpa si fierbinte.

I left something in Barcelona. A part of me died there. I couldn't grief until now. But now it is gone with the wind. I used to think that you have to earn love, that love has to be earned, that you have to suffer in order to be happy, that you can be humiliated in the name of love, that it's ok to look at yourself as a sinner and to be in pain and feel ashamed about yourself. But there was a voice in my head which was telling me that this is not ok, this isn't love. When you love someone you forgive. The past doesn't matter any more. It's just the present and the future. What in your life made you so miserable that you needed to smash my soul out on the ground? I've never felt more alone while being with someone in my entire life! I felt alone, depressed, I lacked confidence in myself, I lost myself, I chalked my words so you could feel better. I put myself in a box so you could feel better!
Now I am living again, on my own and I am happy or sad but I know that the result is the sum of my actions. And it feels good. Because I know that love is freedom and confidence and joy and celebration and colors!




So , yes, I died a little bit in Barcelona. That's why it's not my first top city.

these are my patients

"   Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroine?"

Dupa mine exista 3 filme epice care ajuta oarecum la intelegerea adictiei, 2 dintre ele mai serioase.

1) trainspotting ( 1996)

2) requiem for a dream ( 2000)

3) how high ( 2001).

Pe al 3 lea l-am vazut cu L. la mare, cu M. In epoca in care am descoperit si luna amara si tapinarii si ipr si multeeeeeeeeee altele...este o comedie si atat ( desi...I need moeny! head! neeeeeeeeeext!).

Celelalte 2 te pun cel putin pe ganduri.

Just watch them and we'll talk afterwards.

primul salariu:)

sambata 27 noiembrie 2010 am luat primul salariu.
ohhhhhh, the pride :)
si apoi m-am tot intrebat ce sa fac cu el? asa ca mi-am luat un parfum dar nu din moft, efectiv mi s-a terminat parfumul. si apoi o sa pun bani deoparte pentru masina. din ce mai ramane o sa le cumpar alor mei cadouri de Craciun si mie o caciula imblanita, din aia cu urechi:)plus ceva pentru El si pentru toata lumea draga mie si carti,carti,carti...de Medicina:)
e excelent sa ai banii tai dar...cand au trecut anii?
si odata ca banii au venit si responsabilitatile,ceea ce e firesc.
uneori ma gandesc ca poate am schimbat o specialitate pe bani. si atunci ma simt prost si am regrete si ma doare inima. dar ce as fi facut acasa cu o specialitate si tot pe banii alor mei? nimic. asa ca sometimes we have to choose.
asa ca m-am hotarat. o sa mai dau o data examenul de rezdentiat in Franta.mai ales ca nu am nimic de pierdut. daca iau tot mf mi se recunosc stagiile.
the real battle begins now!