Addictology.2.'till I collapse

My first pregnant women on dope.

Tuesday 9 AM

Alo, Madalina, this is M... (the midwife) you have to go to HTP. There's a pregnant woman with a severe heroine withdrawal syndrome. 5 months. no follow up. Social status:disaster(no home, sex industry)..

Well, I'm in prison this morning so I cannot just leave like this. Then we have the ob-gyn staff. 3 consults and then I'll go.

No, you have to go now.

No, it will wait 'till 6 PM.


Tuesday 9.30 AM

Good morning, Madalina, here's L...(the psychiatrist) there's a woman at HTP. You have to go and see her ASAP.
F... you, I won't do what you tell me! As I've said, I'll be there at 6 PM, AFTER I finish my shift in prison and AFTER my consultations.

Tuesday 10.00 AM

Hello, Madalina, N.....on the line(chief nurse)
I've said 6 PM!!!
OK, could you at least give the ob-gyn some explanations on the phone.
NO, I cannot give directions without seeing the patient. What's wrong with you people!?!!!

Tuesday morning 10.30 AM

Hello Dr R this is the ob-gyn intern. May I ask you some questions??
What's the pb people, I'm working in prison, I have to see patients, how can I do this is everyone keeps calling me non stop??§!§§§
OK, do this and this and this...

Does she at least wants a substitution treatment?
Yes.
Okay I'll be there as soon as I can.

6 PM
I've met the patient.
I've went to see her every morning and evening before and after work.
12h working days.

After 4 months a healthy, beautiful, bundle of joy was burn.

Mme H respected our "deal" made in that hospital room at 7.00 PM.

I'll trust her and respect her as a patient and a human being. I'll help her find a home and have access to decent health care.
In exchange regular medical check ups, no drugs and no working on the streets. We shook hands and then I knew that we both have no returning.
No one believed in us. We've had to make it! Against all odds and misconceptions.
Because we were outcasts and we knew how much means an open heart and a smile.

She did it! She was shining with her baby in her arms.
And that day I've felt in love with my 3rd job: pregnancy and drugs!

my patients 1

" Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroin?"


Trainspotting. Classic.

Morphine

Sur la Morphine


"       C'est n'est pas "un état d'anxiété", c'est une morte lente qui s'empare du morphinomane pour peu qu'on le prive de sa morphine une heure ou deux.  L'air lui fait défaut, il ne peut pas l'avalere...pas une cellule de son corps qui ne soit pas en manque... de quoi?  Impossible à définir ou à expliquer.   Bref, l'homme n'est plus.  Il est déconnecté.  Ce qui se meut, ce qui s'angoisse, ce qui souffre, c'est un cadavre.  Il n'aspire et ni ne pense à rien d'autre qu'à la morphine. 
       
         La morphine!

         Mourir de soif est un mort paradisiaque, bienheureuse, comparée à la soif de morphine.  C'est ainsi, sans doute, qu'un enterré vivant s'efforce d'attraper les dérisoires dernières bulles d'air de son cercueil et se lacère la poitrine avec les ongles.  C'est ainsi qu'un hérétique gémit et se débat sur le bûcher lorsque les premières flames lui léchent les pieds... La mort, une mort à sec, à petit feu ..."

 

                    Mikhail Bulgakov, "MORPHINE"


Pentru ca Bulgakov este in topul meu 10.
Pentru ca addictia nu este o probleme de vointa.
Pentru ca addictia te face sa zbori, te ajuta sa traiesti dar te si ingroapa de viu.
Pentru ca oamenii astia sunt oameni speciali.
Pentru ca au nevoie sa fie intelesi, sprijiniti si vazuti.
Pentru ca oamenii astia sunt tot ceea ce este ascuns in noi!







Din punct de vedere muzical cred ca this deep amazing voice sounds a lot like morphine. Mark Sandman died in 1999, infarct.

Prison break 3. Death and all her friends.

We all know that this could happen.

It happened to my colleagues (nurses and doctors). They all have their graveyard. We all have it,as doctors.

But I remember precisely how it happened to me.

12.02 (I was thinking of going out eating something but still had some paper work to do). Phone rings. A nurse answers. She immediately screams in the medical unit : “We have a patient who hang himself! Fast, fast!”

12.04 We took the emergency backpack and we’ve started running on the empty hall ways. The doors from one sector to another one we’re opening so slow. We were running... The doors were slamming back after our passage. 1.2.3.4.5.6.7. doors and 2 floors.

12.10 He is in the “new comers” wing. Second floor. We split. Take the stair it will be quicker. I jump 2 stairs at a time. Second floor. Full of people. I couldn’t see their faces. I could just see the patient, lying down, not moving and the sheets hanging by the window bars.

12.15 A person was already doing the CPR. The patient was not moving, I didn’t have a pulse. He seemed ... We continue the CPR. We don’t want to loose him, we don’t want to call it, we cannot loose him, breathe God damn it. 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10.11.12.13.14.15.16.17.18.19.20.21.22.23.24.25.26.27.28.29.30 1.2. “all hands off the patient!” again and again and again! God if you can hear me, if you are there, please, don’t let him die! At some point I think I’ve realized I cannot do anything and that he was gone.

“ ... and the hardest part was letting go, not taking part ...” (Coldplay).

12.40 The ambulance arrives. They try to intubate him. They call it off.

I don’t remember doing the way back to the medical unit. I think I’ve cried but silently as the nurse student was in shock. When I’ve arrived to the medical unit everyone knew what happened after the look of my face. I got hugs and everyone kept on saying that we did everything possible. He would have done it any how sooner or latter. Somehow, it didn’t comfort me. How could it?

It was my patient. I did everything. He died, hung, in a prison cell, alone. Young, too young, had a family.

I felt weak. I felt Small, Guilty, Inefficient. He shouldn’t have been dead.

And then I realized he was not my first and he will not be my last. Because I’m a M.D. and sometimes you can simply not save them. It’s just that the whole system is wrong. I dislike prisons and any kind of structure who uses the abuse of power. Maybe this man didn’t belong in prison. When abuse it’s the only way of justice death and all of her friends come along.

And I am tired but I won’t give in (or at least I’ll try).

“ Cause sometimes you just feel tired, 

  Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.

  But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength

  And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up

  And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

   Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out 

   Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth. 

   Till the smoke clears out. 

   Am I high? Perhaps I'ma rip this s*** till my bones collapse...

...I will not fall, I will stand tall.” (Eminem)

  

 So I hope that he’s in a better place. He would have done it sooner or latter prison or not prison. I have a bitter taste though. See you at a bitter end (Placebo).

And oh I do not fancy your life “dramas” as I know that worse is and always will be possible.

canicula.1q84

Ca sa inteleg adevaratul sens al cuvantului canicula m-am mutat eu in Franta?
NU!

Ca ma topesc ca o inghetata pe canapea, sa transpir iesind de la dus, sa fac alergie, la propriu, m-am mutat eu in Strasbourg?
NU!

Si atunci va intreb eu pe voi WTF??!! 41° toata ziua, 35° grade noaptea! How am I suppose to sleep? How am I suppose to function working all day long without air conditioning? Nu v-ati fi asteptat la asta de la un spital din Franta,nu? Ei bine realitatea este cruda si inflexibila : nu este aer conditionat, avem doar ventilatoare care recircula doar aerul cald (deci, eficienta zero) si lucram cu halatele din bumbac peste hainele de strada. DAR avem dus la munca!  Este, dom'le, ca trag cu urechea si cu ochiul toti colegii de sex masculin (cu exceptia celor gay si poate a celui transexual?!) nu mai conteaza. Oricum in momentul in care iesi de la dus esti acoperit de transpiratie, so why bother? (cred ca pe varianta asta functioneaza pacientii mei care isi imagineaza ca, fiind uzi in permanenta nu mai am au nevoie de dus ca doar si ala tot cu apa sa face, macar transpiratia e moka).

In afara de canicula asta infecta am si vesti bune.
De la inceputul lui mai am inceput sa lucrez si la spital, pe addictologie. Finally I am payed for doing the specialty that I was trained to do. And I'm loving it in all her complexity, addictology is the QUEEN! When I am not doing this I am at prison break. Everything advances as planned. Soon I will conquer the world!


Meanwhile I am saving money for buying a car (asta dupa ce mi-am dat seama ca ma pot descurca perfect si fara voiture, mai putin cand sunt de astreint si sunt totusi de astreint o saptamana/5). Deci, desi nu imi face nici o placere deosebita  sa fiu eco unfriendly by buying a new car it seems that I don't have a choice.


In august plec in V A C A N T A. Atat de bine ilustrat e cuvantul asta de hit-ul Madonnei :




Plec D O U A SAPTAMANI I N T R E G I in Vietnam! My feet are itchy already! I haven't been on a trip since Mai, S(LOVE)ENIA si Venice (blearch, o sa scriu poate vreodata un post despre cum mi-a displacut profund Venetia si despre cum SLOVENIA KICKS ASS).

Asta daca nu o sa ma descompun pana atunci, din cauza caldurii.

Intr-o zi ma intorceam de la Prison Break, cu tramvaiul, si eram foarte concentrata in unul de cursurile de addicto : cred ca era cel despre complicatiile hepatice ale exogenozei cronice. Si cum aveam castile in urechi, eram concentrata in lumea mea in mod :"vizualizare 3d a cirozei hepatice". La un moment dat mi s-a parut ca barbatul asezat pe scaunul din fata mea incearca sa comunice cu mine asa ca imi scot castile din urechi si intreb, politicos, "pardon?". La care omul ma intreaba daca asta este meseria mea, sa ingrijesc "aceste" persoane. I-am raspuns obosita si mandra ca : "Oui." La care acel necunoscut mi-a zis admirativ si cu ochii plini de bunatate : "C'est ca l'humanité!".

Si atunci m-am gandit cu bucurie ca o umanista idealista pasionata de literatura si-a gasit manusa perfecta in adictologie. No regrets.

O sa revin in curand, sper, cu o postare despre Slovenia si Venetia. Si poate despre Portugalia (I am deeply in love with this country and with her people).

So see you latter alligator!

reflexion

Story of my life ...


" ... - It wouldn't be bad but I don't like being stuck in one place. I want to be free to go wherever I like and think about whatever I want. I want to live free.
       - But this is not very easy.
       - You're right, it's not easy. But I am determined. I want to be free..."


                                                   "Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage" by HARUKI MURAKAMI

soulfly

pentru ca...soulfly!
pentru ca...a trecut prea mult decand nu am mai ascultat.
pentru ca...incerc sa imi exteriorizez asa furia!
pentru ca...ce se intampla in Ucraina putea sa se intample in Romania.
pentru ca...de sambata incep inlocuirile.
pentru ca....incep sa ma stresez un pic.
pentru ca...nu vreau sa ma uit la patinaj artistic.

pentru ca...get the fuck out of my face!














De cand am inceput sa scriu postarea asta am inceput inlocuirile, am inceput sa lucrez la prison break, imi continui diploma universitara de TCC si dependente. Intre astea 3 incerc sa imi gasesc timp si pentru activitati non medicale dar este destul de greu. Sunt la o rascruce de vanturi si pentru ca I find it hard as fuck to let it go incep sa fac greseli. Greseli care sunt doar vina dezorganizarii mele. Acestea fiind zise, ma duc sa imi organizez agenda si sa imi fac ordine in ganduri. Am uriasa sansa de a fi singura in casa timp de 3 zile! La inceput am fost trista pentru ca o sa fiu singura de Paste. After that I realised that I am never alone and that my family and my friends are at just one phone call away.


Asa ca nu ramane decat sa ma organizez and off I go pentru urmatoarea saptamana de inlocuiri/remplacement @ the country side. As usual easy to say...


Singurul lucru care imi ramane de facut este sa repet : wild nature is my friend! wild nature is my friend! wild nature is my friend!

Nope, nu este Mary Poppins, este Dr. Madalina cu trusa de prim ajutor :)

Si dragul meu drag : Brancusi!

Medicina generala sau viata ca o prada

"Mais Madalina, ca c'est comme un monument! Ca se visite!"

Era vorba despre o pacienta de 115 ani!!!

The truth is that I am lost! Completely lost! After 9 years I thought that I will finally get to do what I always dreamed to do : Addictology, but in the end things aren't working on exactly as I planned. But I have hope. Because I know that things happen for a reason and I know that someday the pieces of the puzzle will fall down in their right places. Because people aren't able to imagine what a war Med School is, it's impossible for a non-doctor to know. We are suffering a psychological torture during many years. We learn to run before we walk! You have to be though, you have to sometimes walk on bodies in order to get what is yours. For instance nobody imagines how we are treated like a sub-human-race during a lot of our surgical or medical stages. You don't have a name, you're "it", "number zero". You don't sleep, you eat when you can and what you can, you do sometimes everything except medicine. And it's hard as hell to hear from the one who should be your teachers, your role-models : "You're stupid/useless/a disgrace for the medical world, you'll never be a good Dr. In fact, you'll never be a Dr. 'cause you'll never pass my exam!". It happened to my mates, it happened to all of us; medical students. And not just once. Many people will trough in your face the classical phrase : "Don't complain, it's you who have decided to choose this path!". True, but no one can prepare you for what follows. And the internship it's long and we are still underrated, we are not looked as physicians/doctors, we're just "the real doctors mignons". We are trained to work as slaves, fetch food and coffee, and if possible think but always present your idea as your bosses idea. Gratifying isn't it? You learned 6 years to be the "doctors pet". Life in plastic is fantastic. And don't get me start of some patients! (just some, luckily not lots of them). It goes something like THIS.

So you learn what and how you can. And try to get the best out of it!

After 9 years I still don't know what I'll do, exactly. I know what I want to do but I am still not sure how I will get it. And a very old dream rises again : Medicina fara frontiere!

























DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, I WON'T BE IGNORED!!!

But one thing is cristal clear : what lucky were we to grow up with this amazing music. When rock was still rock! And music was not shit and not porn! Take everything from the inside and trough it all away, 'cause I swear for the last time, I won't trust myself again with you. I WON'T WASTE MYSELF ON YOU!
Anger is good sometimes, it can clear your mind and your guts. And babies, drooling and laughing babies, this also helps, they can take you to a happier place. And dogs, dogs always work!







I know the album "Hybrid theory" by heart, the best LP album.
I also know "Korn", "Life is peachy" and "Follow the leader" by Korn, by heart. That was music.




















And it appears clear to me now that I was never born to do medecine for the rich and ungrateful. I have a mission to help the weak ones. You know that I know that I am no Messia but I will do my best to help the one in need. 'cause I know that a friend in need is a friend in deed. Once I took the HIPPOCRATE OATH and I do not intend to break it. Not for you my rich, fat, ungrateful piece of garbage. Although in the end your ignorance is bliss. People are dying of starvation and you complain that you have to pay 2 euros for a fucking pommade??? When you never worked your entire life, you were just "pretty" besides you're successful husband? As I said ignorance is bliss but I will not be part of your game! And you loose a very good doctor, just so you know!














So humanitarian medicine and addictology here I come!!!

In Martinica cu o doamna comercianta localnica. May the colors be back!!!

Fluturele din min(t)e

E bine sa iti gasesti locul, sa fit in. Normalitatea nu exista ca un absolut. Exista grade si grade si eu cred ca normalul este limita de confort a fiecaruia. Si ma fandeam azi asa ca e bine, ca imi e bine. Si, God knows, ca probabil trec prin cea mai instabila perioada din viata mea. Practic, e ca si acum 3 ani cand mi-am luat trolerul si am venit sa fac rezidentiatul la Strasbourg. In decembrie il termin, 3 ani trec repede.


iDiots is a masterplan : just click here to watch it!

Ieri am primit un cadou de ziua mea : o cana, o cutie muzicala si o carte. Eram toti in jurul mesei and I felt at home : cu celine, fulga, andreea, cristi si bianca (bibi as she is 4 months old). Era cald, galagie, muzica, eram bine.

Azi m-am trezit, asa cum ar trebui sa ma trezesc in fiecare zi, cu dorinta sa fie cea mai tare zi! Sa ma autodepasesc si a fost o zi de care sunt multumita. Mi-am baut cafeaua cu un pic de lapte, m-am machiat (7 minute crono, the usual) iar in timp ce imi puneam manusile din piele neagra (care ma fac sa ma simt ca un bad ass rock star chiar si cand sunt la pamant) si mergeam spre masina un gand m-a atins gingas :
" Mada, stii tu ce zi e azi?"
 "Da, azi e luni, luni 25 Noiembrie."
 "Ok, si a ce iti miroase?"
 " A iarna, a zapada"
 "Super, fii pe faza".

Am stiut ca azi o sa se intample!

Dimineata am avut un val de consultatii! Dar impreuna cu Dr. K totul e mai usor si prind constant incredere in mine. E frumoasa si medicina generala, in felul ei. Ceea ce vreau sa zic este ca toata dimineata a fost un soare minunat! A fost o placere sa facem vizitele la domiciliu, chiar daca am ramas plantati in fata blocului unei doamne cu Alzheimer care nu a vrut nicicum sa ne deschida. Asa ca dna la etaj, noi la parter, ne mai lipsea chitara si scara, mai ales scara. Eram ca in Romeo si Julieta numai ca noua ne era frig! A fost destul de patetic.

Dar un soare, mon cher, ce soare! Asa ca am facut cateva mici cumparaturi, m-am intors acasa cu un zambet pe fata si cu mainile incalzite de la volanul cald :)

Dupa-masa am mancat acasa, cu colegele de apartament si apoi am plecat iar la lucru. Am vazut o gramada de copii! Am facut multe vaccinuri, it was distracting. Si la un moment, la ora 7 fara 20 nu mai era nici tipenie  de om in sala de asteptare. Ceea ce este foarte nebisnuit, de obicei terminam la ora 8 seara! Si cand am iesit eu din cabinet la ora 7 fix ce sa vad : NINGEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Iar cum francezii habar nu au cum sa conduca iarna si cum e un pic de zapada pe strada totul este paralizat, nu au venit la doctor! Ningea oameni buni cu fulgi mari si grasi! Despre asta soptea fluturele! Zapada mea draga e aici!






In alta ordine de idei, a fost atat de nebun si ne-bun anul asta si acum astept vestile bune, care incep sa vina. Ce bine e cand familia e bine, vorba lui louie din "Viata cu Louie" : "Familia e familie". Asa ca o sa ma duc la ski in vacanta, in Poiana Brasov, tata imi ceruieste déjà skiurile. Si o sa vad prieteni dragi de care imi era tare, tare dor!

Iar pentru moment incerc sa fac asta :

Si din ce in ce mai des ma simt ca si Alice in Tara Minunilor :

Am descoperit si am inceput sa accept ca :

Si am ales sa :

Pentru ca :

Noapte buna, sub zapada de clestar!
















Si va las cu ceva constructiv :  filosofia explicata in forme geometrice! :) click AICI

strit

Azi luam toti pranzul in bucataria spitalului de zi ( strit = psihiatrul, eu = interna, infirmiera, asistenta, secretara si asistenta sefa). Si turuiam noi vrute si nevrute, la care psiul imi zice :

" Madalina, tu va être psychiatre!"

Mi-a stat inima in loc. Literalmente. I had a dream!

addictologie

addictologie...I'm craving for it...it's in my blood stream, it's in my DNA, it's everything
mama, deci cum a putut sa fie conferinta asta!
a desirat!

genial!



cocaina, atatea lucruri nedescoperite inca si un sevraj atat de complex!
love, live, love!

these are my patients

"   Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed- interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit- crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who need reasons when you've got heroine?"

Dupa mine exista 3 filme epice care ajuta oarecum la intelegerea adictiei, 2 dintre ele mai serioase.

1) trainspotting ( 1996)

2) requiem for a dream ( 2000)

3) how high ( 2001).

Pe al 3 lea l-am vazut cu L. la mare, cu M. In epoca in care am descoperit si luna amara si tapinarii si ipr si multeeeeeeeeee altele...este o comedie si atat ( desi...I need moeny! head! neeeeeeeeeext!).

Celelalte 2 te pun cel putin pe ganduri.

Just watch them and we'll talk afterwards.

de ce imi plac mie drogatii

Sau, mai polyticaly correct spus de ce imi place mie sa lucrez cu pacientii care au o addictie ( dependenta de ceva). Pentru ca sunt fucked up and I think I can fix them...asta cred unii. Ei bine, nu. Pentru ca eu nu cred ca trebuie sa ii vindec. I ain't Jesus and I can't walk on water. And I cannot heal people either.



Pentru ca imi place sa incerc sa inteleg mecanismul prin care s-a ajuns la addictia respectiva. What was it that pulled the trigger? Imi place sa ii ascult ( and God knows that it ain't easy all the time !), sa le vorbesc, sa ii incurajez, sa ii pun in garda vis a vis de toate complicatiile somatice care pot aparea ( and they are a lot and they are not easy to take care of), sa ii acompaniez in iadul lor si sa le arat ca there is a way to leave it all behind.

People tell all the time : " Look : a junkie! F***** piece of shit! It's all his fault! He shouldn't have drunk/took drugs in the first place, nobody obliged him!"



I tell to 'em : " But aren't you a fuckin' junky also? Like addicted to work, money, social insurance, nice clothes, make up, fast cars, sex or just being loved, your wife/husband, babies, cigarettes, social recognition, God, social acceptation, raw eating, shopping, cleaning, TV, computer, internet, mobile phone...so f*** off jerk! Stop bitching about others and just clean your own mess!"

But we are so good at judging others! It makes us feel better about our lives, about our own lies and compromises.

But we are clean, at least, right? Eu sunt cel mai bland si bun!

Eh uite ca tu nu stii ignorantule/ignoranto ca poate omul ala a fost violat ani la rand de catre mama/tatal sau, ca omului asta i s-a spus in copilarie ca e un cacat, ca omul asta e un timid iremediabil, ca omul asta are probleme psihiatrice grave, ca omul asta a pierdut TOTUL si doarme in strada, ca e multumit cand afara nu ninge/ploua, ca nu se poate uita in ochii altora, ca ii e rusine, ca e privit zilnic ca o lepra a societatii, ca nu a mancat de o saptamana, ca unii oameni se nasc din start fara nici o sansa ( da, da, exista si asa ceva ignorant mic!).

DA, sunt si mitomani, sunt si oameni care au facut totul sa ca nu reuseasca dar what about the others?

Am cunoscut fete violate ani la rand de ' tatii lor', necrezute si batute de mamalele dependente de tati 'pentru minciuna' care au descoperit ca lumea e un loc mai bun in spatele unui nor de THC sau in spatele unui shot de hero. Coca era singura lor prietena. In cartierul numai looserii invatau, in familie carti nu se citeau si TV domnea! Cand esti de partea cealalta a zidului, cum faci, ce faci ca sa iti fie tie bine? Apoi totul degenereaza. Initial hero e gratis, apoi pe bani/sex/obiecte de valoare. Scapi de tata si dai de un peste. Nu ai scoala si nu ai nici o retea de sustinere! De fapt, am putea zice ca nimeni nu stie ca tu existi!



La asta nu te-ai gandit nu? Cand treceai mandru in BMW ul tau/cu familia ta/ cu burgerul sau shaorma sub nas/ cu copilul imbracat dupa ultimul racnet.

So please just define your f***** necessities and STOP JUDGING OTHERS!
Because most of the time you're not better than them.
Just clean your own trash and let others try to clean their own when they are ready to do it!4




So, yes, I stand by their side, I will fight with them 'till the end. 'cause we all have demons, I sure appreciated my friends and family being there for me when I needed help!



The road is bumpy, o sa aiba recaderi, o sa revina, o sa aiba perioade mai bune. Dar o sa stie ca cineva e acolo, gata sa ii asculte si sa incerce sa ii ajute.