Sunday love

" No more chances.2 strikes. That's what she gets. Russians don't play baseball." OISTNB

Maybe that after all in my Romanian souls it is a Russian part also.
I do business, I don't deal, I don't settle.
If I want something I will get it. With hard work and straight playing. I am afraid that honesty is not "on the wave" since ... forever. So I guess that I'm kind of screwed. But I'll never lose hope. I truly believe that in this world there is a country which is mine, according to my soul and my life principles.


I know that wonderland is something that you create not something that you stumble upon but sometimes it's fucking difficult.


https://soundcloud.com/sonsofrico


" Two speeds in my yard : walk and shuffle!" OISTNB

Car crash

remember, remember the 6th of December 2014 because that was the first day of the rest of my life : I received the gift of life the 2nd time.

play this first :




How today changed my life.

Today I had my first car accident.
I am physically fine. No contusions. Just my ego : broken.
I'm fine, everything's just fine but I am in a shock state which I think it's normal.

I was coming back from Nancy and at some point I was entering from a small road to the highway and my car start spinning. It happened so fast. I spinned like 4 or 5 times and hit the safety bar.

But while I was spinning, I realised that I'm out of control. I was spinning, my hands were clenched on the steering wheel, and my mind was...blank. For the first time in my life I had no idea whatsoever crossing my mind. Nothing! But I am pretty sure that I've seen a rainbow and I am sure that the song playing on the radio was "Beat it" from Mickael Jackson.

Like a robot I put on my security vest, I got out of the car on the other side as on my side the door was deformed, I put the triangle 5 m away from my car. Got back into the car and called the cops. And after a car stopped, the man took me out of the car, on the other side of the road. After what seemed to be an eternity (20 minutes) the cops came, moved my car, filled in the rapport and after that a big truck came and took us (me&Mona, my car) to the service. They told me that it's probably better to buy a new car than to repair Mona. My heart was broken. This is my first car, the first important material stuff that I bought with my own savings since coming in France. It has a big emotional value as it was a gift for my parents.
While I was thinking how should I give my parents the bad news that they don't/won't have a car anymore the truck guy told me :
" Anyways it's just a big  pile of metal! You don't realise how lucky you were that you didn't hit another car/other cars. You could have been dead/handicapped or you could have killed someone."

And then it hit me : he was so right! I was so lucky! I am alive!
But while I was spinning, I realised that I'm out of control. I was spinning, my hands were clenched on the steering wheel, and my mind was...blank. For the first time in my life I had no idea whatsoever crossing my mind. Nothing! But I am pretty sure that I've seen a rainbow and I am sure that the song playing on the radio was "Beat it" from Mickael Jackson.

This was my Saint Nicolas gift for me : the value of life (of course I could have done this a different way but I like pushing my limits and on the other side it would have been less life changing, just another brick in the wall). Dramatic pose. Oh, the fans!


Latter edit (the 9th of January 2015) : MONA is alive, she was saved by my beloved Hizo, our car "fixer" since ... forever. Love, peace and respect because he has the most awesome gold bracelet ("your job is your gold bracelet", Romanian saying).

prison break 1

It's all about love, about not judging, about being equal to yourself and to others.

It's all about anger, despair, (broken) trust, scattered dreams, broken families, lonely people.

It's all about rude people, punks, immigrants, outsiders, dreamers, pranksters, firestarters.

It's all about getting out of your comfort zone, about trust, about giving another chance when everyone turned their backs.

It's about learning how to get attached every fucking time, about giving a penny, about (maybe) saving a life.

I am a doctor and I use words like "fuck", "shit", "awesome", "dick head" and other very non catholic/orthodox (depends where you're standing) expressions every day.

I am a "prison doctor". I have fun every day with my guards, with my patients, with my colegues because we love our job.

I am who I choose to be day by day.

My favorite joke is answering to the question : "Where are you, Mada?" "I'm just getting out of jail".

I like to party, I love my job but above all I love my patients. I would do whatever it takes to help them. I am not delusional, I am not Jesus, they cannot be saved but they can be helped. And they need help.

Most of the people don't get it. Why did I choose to work there with the "scumbags" of our society?

Well, for several reasons, one of them would be that I don't think that I am better than they are?

Are you better than them? No, I don't think so. You cheat, you lie, you're greedy, you're arrogant, you're working for money, you're lazy, you're a little bitch in your everyday life, you're racist, you're envious. No one is perfect!

What would you do in their situation? Maybe the same! 

Do you know how it's like to lose everything? You don't! They do!

" All this talk about equality, the only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die!". (Bob Dylan)

So I come as I am in front of them. They try to impress, to seduce, to make me scared ... in the end they are trying to get some emotions from me. 

Now is it good to show emotions to your patients? Maybe, maybe not. 

Addiction is a disease. Addiction is bad and rotten and vicious and...almost impossible to get ride of. It's normal to reject it if you don't try to understand it. 

"Doctor, you will not leave like the other doctors right, after 1 year!" 

"Well, I still have a long road ahead of me, I don't know if this is my final destination :)"

"At least you're honest."

"Always."

It's impossible to explain the joy of every morning when I have to go to my work = prison is my happy place.

I also work in a private practice. It's not the same. I am stiff, I wear my smile and my pretty clothes, I am polite and professional with my Colgate smile. The difference is that in prison break I am free to express myself! At the practice my patient is my client = master. And I hate it, ooooh how I hate it!

It's like having a split personality : switching again and again and again.

It's my choice. It might not be the good one. I could be wrong, I could be right but I stepped out of my comfort zone a long time ago and I became happy.

I think is important to speak about it because it concerns all of us. Putting people in prison is not a solution. It just makes things worse (imagine a person "without person" and a criminal/rapist/drug dealer in the same cell for some months). Look at the "savages" living on their islands/in their forests : justice for all without extreme measures or with measures socially accepted by all the members of their community. And then look at us : "Uuuu, criminal, he was in jail!". Yes, he was because he has stolen food from the supermarket. How much our politicians are "taking" day by day? 

So, yes, I choose my patients. I'll be there when they wanna go!

You don't know their stories so stop judging and GET HUMAN!

I try to understand my patients trough music :) So I will leave you with my top 11 tracks :

1) Ozzy, junkie 

2) RHCP, Don't forget me         "... I'm the rainbow in your jail cell..."

3) Gogol Bordello, Alcohol

4) Eric Clapton, Cocaine

5) Pink Floyd, Have a cigar 

6) The velvet underground, Heroine

7) Black Sabbath, Sweet Leaf

8) Guns n' roses, Mr Brownstone

9) The rolling stones, Sister Morphine

10) John Lennon, Cold turkey 

11) Cypress Hill, Hits from the bong

*

Pictures taken this year in Berlin, in March! I fucking love this city! Freedom of speech!

le hasard

1. 21 years old, female, south africa, 2nd time in prison break.

    "Dr. I have to ask you something :)!"

    " Yes :) ?"

    "Do you know God?"

    "Well I didn't meet him yet but I heared about him."

    "Do you have a religious belief?"

    "Uhm, I am ortodox but I ... I don't know, I believe in a higher force."

    "But do you go to church?"

    "... not really"

    "I am an evanghelist and I have a gift, I have to tell you something...I have to spread the word."

    "Ok, you can tell me."

    "God have spoken to me, the world will end."

    " :) of course, it's also written in the bible :)"

    "Yes, but it will end soon and I have this gift, I have to spread the word."

    "Aren't you afraid that people will believe you're crazy?! if you say you talk to God?"

    "No, I have a mission."

    "Yes, we all do miss, but you seem to have a difficult task to complete."

She was standing in front of me, beautiful, smart, free, a true believer. I envied her for one moment. It seems difficult to envy someone who's in jail right? But the thing is that she is ... free. :) And, no, I don't think she's crazy.

2.  45 years old male, north africa, 45th time in prison break.

     "Hello Dr. ca va?" ( I always find very funny this question)

     "Yes, ca va and you?"

     "Well, great, I'm going out in 2 months! :)"

     "That's great news!! :) Do you have plans for outside?"

     "Yes, go outside and get a job and then get my family back!"

     "Hm, you know that it won't be easy."

     "Yes, it will, because with your help Dr. I will stop smoking weed, I used to smoke 15 joints/day, now I'm at 3/day but I cannot stop by myself and it ruins my life (starts to cry)."

      "Well I will ask you some question, you will be honest, and we will succeed!"

It turned out that he had a social phobia and a paranoia and that weed was his auto-medication.

I've started a treatment and I'm confident.

Where there's a will there's a way. And he wants to quit, and I'm there to support him.

:) I love my job! So many interesting people every day!

Luxembourg

Luxembourg is warm, happy, beautiful, coloured and chilled. I really, really loved it. People are smiling, are helping and they seem to be very happy.

Luxembourg is a state of mind, it's a statement. A statement that hard work, good manners and smiles can work. 

Luxembourg is peace. Street singers. Art. Cosy restaurants.

Luxembourg is coloured umbrellas and an awesome happy friend. Luxembourg is a smile!

They don't know how to fix a  strawberry Mojito but they sure have some fine chocolate (hot chocolate + brownie @ "Chocolate house" just in front of the Palace = heaven).

It was a perfect mini holidays, laughing 'till the end :)

I mean you loose some and you get some in exchange. The boy I liked ... it just didn't happen but on my way back to Strasbourg I met a lovely 58 years old jewish lady with Parkinson disease. The essential is not this, the essential is that this woman has a gift and despite her disease she has been blessed by life with 2 wonderful kids and lots of travels. One researcher and one midwife. The researcher is living in Japan, he's married with a Japanese lady and they have a 5 years old son. The great great mother of the Lady is alive and kicking it. I'm going to Japan next year with a friend. The husband of the midwife is a cardiologist with whom I work a lot but whom I've never met in flash and bones. The midwife is pregnant and I am invited to the circumcision ceremony of her son. Shalom I say and mazeltov! 

She said that there are no hazardous encounters in life and I believe she's write so Mazeltov!

On the other side they don't really have hippies/alternative people or maybe they were very well hidden...they were kind of stiff.

This is Luxembourgs song and Luxembourgs photos :

I really, really liked their idea with the colored umbrellas. Apparently there is the same in Portugal so I'll go see by myself with my friends. So, next trip : Portugal! Oleeeeeeeee!

Lik

mexicaniada

din mexic cu drag mi-ai adus bratara asta draga Anda.
cum drumurile noastre se intersecteaza mereu.
mi-esti draga tare si mandra esti!

vroiam doar sa iti multumesc pentru dar, e minunat, il port cu placere.
dar cel mai important dar pe care mi l-ai facut a fost in studentie, (si) de la tine am invatat determinarea :)

so, from Strasbourg with love, pana cand viata ne va desparti.

man of simple pleasures

"...   I'm a man, a man of simple pleasures,
I got all I need so give me whisky measures...

I've seen your future, so leave me alone in the past...

I am told the world is nearly ending
but when I look outside the birds are always singing

trying hard to pretend there's a future in your mad man rules..."





"... On meridians of madness 
On the parallels of love
We try hard, run from each other 
But our work is never done



I believe on a 100 dance nights
A 1000 ribbons were lost in hay 
And we try to hide from each other
But we learned too well to stay ..."