passion with a stranger

call it love, call it whatever you want if it suits you, take what you need, take everything that this world has to give you and you won't owe anyone a thing 'cause it's said and done...go on now and have fun!







sometimes you just have chemistry.
sometimes you don't feel anything at the beginning and after that it comes slowly.
sometimes you have love but you don't have chemistry.
if you have chemistry and love...you're kind of blessed!

it's been like I've been trapped under the ice. nothing to lose, nothing to gain... no regrets! just memories! as many memories as possible!

When in doubt, drink Champagne! :D

Mederic tonight is the night we'll fight 'till is over! So we'll put our hands up like the ceiling can't hold us! :D

Job! Magic pills!

Stras my love!

The old crib! Pe vremea cand aveam o terasa ce bine eraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

(c)attitude

And a little bit more..."cats rule and dogs drool" asa zicea cartea, nu? Pacat ca eu sunt indragostita iremediabil de caini si am un "rau de caine" cu pisicile.






Someone said once that when God made dogs he just sit down and smiled! :) One of my dreams is to have a golden retriever or a labrador! And a house with huge windows and trees in the garden. And to be able to become one of the bests in what I do!

Today it was sunny! Freaking cold but sunny. I woke up at 6.30 and in 30 minutes I was out the door, running *walking really fast* to the train station. Lucky for me that I had enough time, because I almost mixed up the trains. But it was ok in the end. the crispy winter air made me smile. in my ears john was singing "imagine". "imagine ther're no countries, it isn't hard to do!". n=Next station : Brasov, please!





Ozzy and his "dreamer" followed. "gazing trough a window to the world outside, wondering it Mother Earth will survive, hoping that men kind will stop abusing her, sometime!"
A fost atat de greu sa ajung in punctul asta, Freud zicea ca omul ar face orice numai sa nu ramana fata in fata cu el insusi. E greu sa fii singur si fericit. Dar si cand esti! Iti dai seama ce tampenie a fost frica asta, cate ai ratat. Pentru ca, in realitate, nu suntem niciodata singuri! Fighting for my sanity, many nights of tragedy!











I was in my happy place : in a cosy train with a good book. Awesomeness. Am ajuns. Hochfelden! Welcome in the middle of nowhere. OK, let's do some medicine! Pacientii ma privesc cu neincredere : sunt tanara, sunt femeie, am tocuri si sunt machiata!! Dumnezeule!!! O oraseanca!! The horror! Dar se conformeaza, sunt singurul medic din zona :p

Vineri am fost impreuna cu grupul meu de prieteni la iluminarea oficiala a bradului de Craciun din Strasbourg (cel mai mare din Franta, Strasbourgul, fiind cunoscut ca "Orasul in care s-a nascut Craciunul"). A fost foarte frumos, a inceput cu proiectii video in ritm muzical pe cladirile din place Kleber dupa care a fost iluminat si mult asteptatul brad. Cu aceasta ocazie, va anunt ca s-a intamplat minunea Craciunului, ca sa o citez pe Celine : "Regardez! Mada est en train de pousser une possette! Vite, vite, il faut qu'on appele Cornel, il y a de l'éspoir, il peut encore devenir papi!" Haha, hilarious!


Va las cu un time laps ilustrativ despre Strasbourg, in perioada Craciunului si, DA, este atat de frumos!!

Azi am primit o veste minunata, minunata! O minune s-a intamplat! De-abia astept rezultatul!

stirile de la ora 5

Inima imi este usoara si corpul fara vlaga, mintea imi este plina de idei care ma bombardeaza neincetat.

Nu incetez sa am anumite idei macabre care revin. Mereu si mereu si mereu.

De fiecare data cand cobor scarile imi imaginez ca fac o entorsa si cad pe scari, imi fracturez ceva si sfarsesc intr-un pat de spital. Cand trec strada imi imaginez ca o sa fiu spulberata de o masina si ca o sa devin praf de human remains ci nu praf de stele. Not glamorous at all. Mai ales pentru cineva care vrea isi doneze organele. Sick imagination? Maybe.

As I lay here in my bed everything seems so peaceful. it's Sunday the 17 of November, 11 AM.
It's very unusual for me to be in bed at this hour, usually at 6.50 AM I'm up and ready for a brand new day of action and fight (although I hate mornings from the bottom of my heart) . But not today since my body has been defeated by bacterias. yes, I am sick as a dog. it was the candy on the funerary cake. With all the stress that I had lately it was kind of predictable. I haven't sleep all night : the fever made me dance in my bed until exhaustion. I finally felt asleep at 6 AM after changing 4 rounds of p-jas. I asked myself how would it be if I would not wake up? What have I done well and what have I done wrong?

 Ma si vedeam la stirile de la ora 5 : "Tanar medic generalist gasit mort in patul sau din cartierul Montagne Verte, Strasbourg. Madalina era plecata de 3 ani in Franta, unde exercisa functia de medic rezident de Medicina generala. Moarte naturala sau... Tanara locuia impreuna cu inca 2 colegi de apartament, care i-au gasit cadavrul in jurul orei 12, cand s-au ingrijorat datorita absentei ei din bucataria animata a apartamentului" (suspans). Probabil ca m-ar fi pus in grila de program undeva intre baba violata si ucisa cu bestialitate de nepotul ei si intre baiatul vreunui grangur local care a omorat/ranit grav vreo 5 oameni pe trecerea de pietoni, pe verde, cum altfel?

Hell, no! I have so much more to give and I have so many places to visit and so many people to meet!

So as I lie here I just enjoy the silence. The appartement seemed deserted. No noise. I imagined myself back to the Caraibes. Floating on a sea of secrets, under the burning sun. Like a pirate! And then I asked myself : what the fuck is wrong with me? How could I let the disease take control over me? I guess I was so exhausted and just at the idea that the holidays are just in one month my body just shut down. The reality is that I can't stand on my feet more than one hour. I like to call it the glass hour. It's the day that I remembered my strenght and my limits. I walked down the limit of my thoughts and there was no place for words. There was no place for regrets and it was definitely no time left for pain or sorrow.

I just floated on my dreams, my sea of dreams. I went through my accomplished dreams and imagined others to come. I felt good. Like this :

Nu stiu cine a avut ideea sa transforme stirile de la ora 5 intr-o parada a grotescului. De ce nu ar putea sa fie stirile de la ora 5 pline de vesti bune, interesante? Sa stim si noi cine a mai castigat o medalie la un concurs, ce carti au mai iesit pe piata, ultimele noutati muzicale de calitate, o decizie buna luata de conducatorii nostrii (pentru moment, o utopie), proteste din suflet si cu suflet, o natiune care se trezeste la viata si devine constienta de resursele ei. Oameni uniti pentru un ideal. No, Sir, why would we talk about that? We like dirt! Sa aruncam cu noroi in vecini, in rude, in politicieni, in medici, sa aratam crime, sa abrutizam natiunea! Si nici in alte tari nu este mai bine, cel putin in Franta este la fel. Nivelul intelectual ar natiunii scade. Non valorile urca. Showuri "pacatoase", detectivi care dezvaluie mizeria de sub pres, taclale de doi bani, banul vorbeste. Iar Omul Macaroana conduce.





As I was lying on my bed, looking at the sea of dreams, I decided to dive 'cause if you never try you'll never know!

on the road again

they say that there is nothing that the road can't heal.
I say they are right!
who are they?
that's a secret I'll never tell.

6 ore de condus, imi place mirosul de drum, de motor incins, soarele care ghideaza mereu, schimbarea vitezelor, zgomotul cauciucurilor, benzinaria de pe marginea drumului cu cafeaua vesnica ceamibunacafeadinlumelamomentulrespectiv! tirurile, farurile noaptea, vantul rece, copacii de pe marginea drumului care dau impresia de banda desenata! dar mai ales vitezaa! singurul moment din lume in care poti sa canti din toti rarunchii asta :



cand unii te vad si te plac si ar vrea sa fie ca tine. dar ei nu stiu nimic despre tine.

to live to tell your story.
un mustang si road 66 este visul suprem. poate cu tine sau fara, cel pe care nu l-am cunoscut inca sau l-am cunsocut si l-am lasat sa plece. sau cu un/o total stranger, sau cu un/o cea mai buna prietena.

again and again and again home is your heart is! but my heart has no home!



is there something more important than to have a memorable life?
sometimes I feel like I am 100 years old but still a baby!
60 revolutions per minut, this is my regular speed!



this song that I have sang for just a few!

cateodata te simti atat de bine incat iti este frica sa te bucuri; incat stii ca va urma ceva rau.
dar daca urmezi drumul tau...totul este sa iti asculti inima si mintea.

cand eram mica credeam ca destinul fiecaruia este gravat in scoarta de tei, nu stiu de ce tei, pentru ca imi placea mirosul probabil. in plus tei=mare. cat de singur poti fii inconjurat de oameni.

ti s-a intamplat vreodata sa vezi totul din afara corpului tau, incet, incet sa iesi din tine...and nothing else matters!



sa traiesti atemporal, sa iesi din lumea asta cand vrei, sa iei masina, avionUL, elicopterul, vaporul si sa pleci, sa pleci, sa plecccccccciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

sa-ti fie drumul lin si noaptea aproape
pe-ntinderea de soapte sa-ti mangai parul,
lin
sa ma atingi si sa ma stingi
pe veci,
din cinci in cinci
zile calatoare
iele zburatoare
ierni fulgeratoare
pasari migratoare!

un soare terapeutic si liniste!
tatuajul cu aripile lui hermes!

A très bientôt mes amis!

pentru suflet :

poezii minunate de la Iv cel Naiv

si o scrisoare plina de adevar.

nu sunt nici poeta, nici nationalista, am parasit tara natala si cu ea o parte din mine.
cu toate astea, eu cred in scrisoare.

"   No more tears, my heart is dry
I don't laugh and I don't cry
I don't think about you all the time
But when I do – I wonder why...

One day baby, we'll be old
Oh baby, we'll be old
And think of all the storïes that we could have told..."

seaside

cine merge in vacanta de vara in Martinica? moi! yup, yup!

se zice ca prietenul la nevoie se cunoaste. se mai zice si ca toti cainii ajung in rai.
azi mi-am luat un moment in soare. si am multumit pentru tot ce am si ce nu am.
pentru tot ce am trait, am dat si am primit. am pierdut si nici ca am stiut.
zile-au fost un joc neintrerupt, nu am stiut decat sa uit mereu ca maine voi fi tot eu.



si stiu ca am obosit, dar daca dupa colt ma asteapta mai mult!



marea am sa o ascult, sa imi spuna c-am gresit candva...
de-as vedea ca ai pleca, valuri mari as invoca, sa imi aduca amintirea ta...

de fapt, vezi tu...eu nu am fost niciodata a ta, nici a celui de-al 2 lea...Eu am fost mereu numai a lui. Si nu stiu daca asta o sa se schimbe vreodata.

the perfect song

shallow frame and shaky sticks but i know there's a river in me
shallow minded adult tricks but i know there's a river in me

random song.

and I miss you.